When Should You Get a Divorce?

Divorce in our country is so rampant that one-third of those who have taken the plunge have also experienced the devastation of divorce. With the vast majority of people in America being married one or more times, it is common knowledge that every couple goes through a few rocky patches. Marriage problems can be solved by the open communication and strong agreement to one another. Couples who are serious about saving the relationship may find professional counseling to be useful in helping them to reconnect emotionally again.

Couple walkingUnfortunately, some problems escalate into insurmountable barriers to a successful marriage. Generally these seemingly unsolvable issues stem from one or both partners refusing to address their problems while they are still manageable. Someone’s feelings get hurt, lack sexual desire, and eventually one spouse detaches emotionally from the other. The further into this cycle a couple is, the more likely they will find themselves in divorce court.

Lack of communication is the beginning of the downhill slide that eventually leads to separation. It could begin with maintaining secrets, and soon either the wife, husband or both, stay away from speaking to one another about their troubles or maybe even general life. A failure to communicate with each other indicates a lack of trust, which is the foundation of marriage.

Soon following a breakdown in communication, a partner may begin to employ personal defense mechanisms that will continue to weaken the marital bond. Stonewalling tactics, being overly defensive, or dismissing the other spouse’s feelings makes healthy conflict resolution impossible. Avoiding conflict or engaging in negative defense mechanisms serves only to poison a marriage.

Sometimes one partner is met with the refusal of the other to work together on the marriage and make it better. In the end, the one that makes the effort to right the marriage problems will get tired of the other ignoring him or her, and may even start to distance his or herself. This is a stage when either or both the spouse wants to call it a day to end the relationship.

When a marriage is doomed, is there a “point of no return”? Certainly there is. It is a matter that varies from couple to couple. Willingness is the key if you want to save your marriage. As either of the spouse want to get apart, nothing is left in the marriage. Repairing a marriage takes serious commitment and a willingness to be open and honest while being forgiving and long-suffering. It can be a lengthy, arduous process, but divorce can be just as difficult.

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